The Early Bird Catches the worms!?

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend wake me up early on Monday and say something "The early bird catches the worm". I no wake up early on public holiday and no very happy.  I scream "I no bird you stupid.  I know what bird mean. I no stupid bird and I no eat worm!"   Dead silence on phone and he say "No, I just want to go test drive couple cars with you and go for dim sum to celebrate your passing the driving test."

Oh!  Grand Hong Kong girl no say sorry.  So I no say anything.  He should speak first. 

Finally, he say he buy me a car (Huh!  You don't and I dumb you! Or dump you?  Whatever) and take me try out Golf GTI and BMW 335. I say why no Fiat 500??  He say "Abarth?"  I say "What Abarth?  No fashion brand.  Fiat 500 has Gucci car. I want them make a Louboutin for me.  Red on bottom and rhinestones on the side and around plate"  What is wrong with men?  They like ugly cars that make loud noise.  I think driving Mini or Beetle with lots of cute cute toys like Hello Kitty around is nice.   

He rolled eyes and go straight to a BMW 335i.  This no M3 and no Z3.  Just a normal 3-series!?  We go all the way to Kowloon and Sweet Sweet Boyfriend no stopping when we on highway to airport.  I thought, we go holiday but not enough time.  He then took exit and went to Tsuen Wan. Oh no, we go so local place no grand. He put top of car down and my hair very messy.  Going Tsuen Wan, there no Kim Robinson. Who fix my hair then?  I was so angry die me.  The car went further to Tai Mo Shan and I say "Oh my god!  Tai Mo Shan has cows.  What if I step on their... err....  Who clean my Jason Wu suede boot!?!?"  I wish shoe company makes raincoat for shoes like Hermes for handbags

We finally got to this place call "Chuen Lone Village" (川龍村)  No no, not having a hole but river dragon.  The restaurant dirty and much people walking around.  They no have stool, waiters, or order paper.  You go grab tray, wait in line to get dim sum.  Lots of people no grand and no driving up there. They hiking and very sweaty and smelly.  I so mad at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend. How dare he take me no grand local place.  I throw my Mulberry Mini Lily at him and walk first.  He said "Ok, let's go to Fiat afterwards.  You are a Sunday driver anyway."  Ok, he knows I only drive Sunday to go shopping.  If no one take me to work during week, I will be no grand.  I will eat with him first.

Uhm Chun Dan Siu Mai (Siu Mai with Quail Egg).  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say this traditional dim sum.  People no put caviar on siu mai in the past.  Some people say cholesterol very bad.  Some say we need cholesterol. I no know which one is right.  I think egg so small and no too much cholesterol should be ok.  Isn't the bigger the egg, the more cholesterol?  Texture no bad.  No sauce but taste fine

See Jiu Jing Pai Gud (Steamed spare ribs with black bean and chili pepper).  I say pork again?  Fat die me.  This one not fat like HK island restaurant spare rib.  No funny taste pork

Ngau Pak Yip (Beef stomach) - I no peasant girl and can no eat ngau pak yip.  I don't know why all these foodie people like organs.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say this one is not bad, quite crunchy.  Crunchy?  It no meat?  Shouldn't all meat has same texture!?

Fung Jao (chicken feet) - I say no disgusting food and I no suck toes. Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say that's collagen.  Much better than using La Prairie.  I say but me put feet in mouth and take bones out is very peasant.  No grand American eat meat with bones.  This old woman next to our table turn around and say "You can get Bak Won Fung Jao (white cloud chicken feet).  They have old women taking the bone out before cooking." Ah!  I want that but that old woman and her friends just laugh and point at that mouth.  What they try to say?  Anyway, taste ok and lots of collagen. I feel like my face glow

Haam Shui Gok (Deepfried dumplings with minced pork and chives fillings).  This one very sweet dumpling and inside not too greasy.  But when I bite it open, this one no nice like one at Fook Lam Moon.  Just fillings all inside instead of a nice ball. What did Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say? Kun Nell? Sound so Thai

Fun Gwo - (Steamed dumpling with minced pork, water chestnut and peanut).  Skin quite thick and no 11 folds.  Didn't some foodie people say dumplings must have 11 or 13 folds?  And skin always problem in HK?  This one skin thick and soft.  Inside taste ok

Jeen Loh Bahk Go (Pan fried radish cake).  I like it very much because no laap cheung (Chinese sausage), laap yuk (Chinese pork belly).  No fat die me.  Almost like ones at vegetable restaurants where they have tofu sheet dish and they call them mock goose, mock chicken, mock char siu...  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend no like it. Say not fried well enough and too doughy

Nai Wong Go (steamed sponge cake with custard).  This one very nice.  No fatty at all.  quite soft and no watermark on cake

Ja Won Ton (deep fried wonton with sweet and sour sauce).  Lots of skin, very crispy like potato chips.  How come they no grand and give you little meat?  Shouldn't wonton be BIG like baby fist? Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say fried wonton is to eat skin.  I no understand them foodie people.

Jeen Yeung Kair Jee (Pan fried eggplant with fish cake).  This is street food and usually I no eat at street shops but I eat at restaurant because grander. This one is ok.  No soggy eggplant.  Fish cake can be stronger and more taste

Chau Meen (fried noodle).  Can be drier but very interesting taste with celery.  Not bad

Dou Fu Fa (Sweet Bean Curd) - Smooth and no funny kerosene taste like most other places.  I no eat sugar usually because that no good to stay size 2 but this one good. Sugar yellow and so no refined sugar, right?

Bill very cheap, less than $200.  Crazy drive up there and people no back up to let our car go first.  They no have stool and you need pick up bowls, chopsticks, mix your tea, get your food.  No service and not for grand girl like me.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say he like try the vegetable (grown there) and roast pork there next time.  I say no Sunday because I am Sunday driver and I won't drive there!

My body is my temple...

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say we foodie people eat well because my body is temple. But temple sound so Chinese and no grand. In yoga class we no say "Temple",  we say "Namaste" (and first time I thought someone curse me).  Can't he say "my body is my namaste" instead?  That so much grander.

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend has new gweilo hiker friend who like eating.  The two of them say go Temple Street.  The restaurant must be very grand because my body is temple and we must eat well.

When Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say I go MTR station to meet up, I say why no Central or Tsim Sha Tsui?  Michilin star (or is it Star Michilin, Starred Michilin, Michilin Starred?) restaurant no go open shop outside grand area.  I want him pick me up in his new CLK 63 AMG Black Series but he say no valet.  Arrgghh!  I no like walking escalator in my stilettos.  What if they catch heel of my new Jimmy Choo. I will mad die me.

When we got to Yau Ma Tei and Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say get off now. I was very mad die him.  He want go Miu Gai!  Why say Temple Street!?  Miu Gai is Miu Gai, why make it grand sounding?

Walk down Miu Gai in my heels no good and two of them want eat clay pot rice at this place called Hing Kee outside without air-conditioning.  I say to Sweet Sweet Boyfriend, "You no buy me Ladurée, I leave now"

After promising a big hamper of Ladurée for me to be deliver to office (to jealous die all girls sitting around me) and a spa treatment at Landmark Oriental. We sat down.

I no expect service but woman waiter gave me a stool to put my bag.  And they follow Andy Lau (Wah  Jai!  Wah Jai!!) instruction and give Japan guy tourist a stool for his backpack too.  Hmm... Miu Gai so good service.  What happen to Michilin star restaurants in Central when they no give stool??

We no order a lot because it is hot and I no like no grand place.  We had:

Sweet & sour pork.  Ok taste.  No ketchup or highlighter orange sauce. A bit soft and you have pork instead of crust only.  

We also had claypot rice with glutinous rice, preserved vegetables and pork.  Lots of crust.  They say cook over charcoal.  It was hot but I ate.  No tell girl friends I eat preserved vegetables.  That very peasant.  I try be polite and eat rice after 3pm.  Two bites.  Should be ok, no? I walk enough on escalator to take MTR today to burn the calories.

Gweilo hiker friend of Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say he likes bitter gourd. So we had bitter gourd with beef.   Texture very soft and beef too much baking soda.

I was trying to be polite and say things ok until next table tourists squeezed soy sauce too hard and sprayed my ankle and my Jimmy Choos.  I so mad die me but they ignorant people no know you no wipe patent leather shoes with alcohol wipe!

So, I go Miu Gai to eat and can claim I am foodie writer.  I no just look price and say no to places.  For me to go back, I no eat bitter gourd but will wait till cold to eat the claypot rice (and has to be before 3pm!).

Macarons or Macaroons?

Paris super famous brand Ladurée open shop in Hong Kong.  All foodie writers talk macaron.  I want talk too.  Since everyone say they like Ladurée very much,  I say I like it very much too.  So expensive and so many people say good, it must be good, right?  Also, I eat at Ladurée in Paris with Sweet Sweet Boyfriend.  I also eat Pierre Hermé (too bad they no connect to Hermès.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend buy so much boxes. If they connect, I be VVVVVIP at Hermès and no wait for Birkin) and other places in France.  I can talk grand macaron talk. 

Foodie women friends of Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say I no know macaron.  They say Pierre Hermé better.  I say you no know what good macaron is.  Pierre Hermé no travel well.  You drop box and they crack open.  They have crazy flavour like foie gras and white truffle.  Foie Gras is no sweet food.  Why put in macaron??  And whtie truffle?  That is smelly mushroom that pigs find.  So no grand.  

They make many flavour and say very complex.  I like all sweet fruity flavour like Ladurée macarons.

I try also La Maison du Chocolat.  They make chocolate ganache but no many fruit filling.  Why no make anything other than chocolate?  And they spell brand wrong.  I know chocolate is chocolatE!  Ok la

I also try Paul Lafayet in Hong Kong.  Very cute with all different colour.  So cute my fingers were pink after eating.  I no remember how taste like though.  

And how can i no talk about Robuchon??  When no get Pierre Hermé in HK, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend buy Robuchon for me.  I no understand why he obsessive over Robuchon pastry.  Say very good in HK. I say if Amanda has macaron, Amanda's macaron must be bestest.  She model and very grand.

What good macaron (or actually, is it macaroons?  So many foodie writer call it macaroons.  Which one can be the coconut one?  Almond, coconut, all nut, same same, right?) I no know but I think they should be round and show feet, smooth top and no runny filling.  Ladurée travel so well.  Must be very good!  So, HK foodie writer, let's ignore Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and his foodie people friend. I agree with you, Ladurée rocks!

Did my daddy and grandparents really eat these? Yung Kee

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say new menu at Yung Kee feature Canton food from 60s-70s.  I say it before my time and so "old cake" but Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say go try because Taiwan Foody Cousin is visiting Hong Kong.  Taiwan Foody Cousin will like that type of food.  He call Lawyer Foody Woman and Chef Foody Man (who has very professional looking waterproof backpack. He said Louis Vuitton makes one using same material.  I should get for my new Galaxy IIIS so I look like professional photographer with my phone with flash!) too.   Why no Kee Club where all famous people go party?   Right next door and much hip and chic people :(

We got there and I say "No way I sit Ground Floor!  So no grand!"  The woman waitress say "Mr Sweet's reservation for 5 is on the fourth floor.  This way please." I still no like it because they no give stool for handbags.  No wonder they no get 3 Michilin stars.  If they really do business for VIPs, how come they no have stool!?  Maybe those old VIPs don't take handbag and just keep everything in the Alphard for driver to look after.  I look at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and wonder when he get me an Alphard with a driver.  I no like him driving me around in his small sports car.  No very grand.  I cannot watch TV in his car.

The first thing come was Thousand Year Old Egg with pickled ginger.  It is nice soft yolk and very jelly like white (but it is brown now!  Why?!?)  but I cannot say I like it because on TV show like Fear Factor, they use Thousand Year Old Egg as... the Fear Factor! I am grand and cannot say I like.  Have to be like most English speaking people.  I no understand why HK people eat the egg with ginger and sugar. At home we eat with soy sauce, sesame oil, scallion and tofu.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say that South China people vs North China people taste.

We had one order deep fried wonton with sweet and sour sauce.  The waitress say "Our wontons are the old style ones with lots of crispy skin"  I look at it and I say "So cheap, why no big ball like Tsim Chai Kee wonton?  Bigger the grander!"  They all look at me and roll eyes.  Sigh!  They call themselves foody people but they no know what good food is.  Let me tell you people, good wonton have big shrimp in it.  No pork fat (so no fat die me) and really big.   The sauce ok no too thick.  How come no bell pepper?   The wonton no very small but no puddle of oil on plate so I think it passed.

We had winter melon soup next.  They so messy to put meat on the melon.  Should be in soup.  There another winter melon soup on menu but we order clear one.  These foody people talk consomme and soup.  I no understand what they talk about.  Soup is soup is soup.  Why all different type?

Sweet Sweet boyfriend probably think I need diet because he pre-order a pork dish.  So much fat on top and all these foody people ate the whole thing. I say how can I eat it?  So fat die me but they say fat is best part.  I took one bite and it is no bad.  No greasy but more jelly and smokey.

We also pre-order goose feet web dish.  They have liver, meat wrap inside like a chessboard but the manager say we no order.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and Taiwan Foody Cousin were upset.  Taiwan Foody Cousin say he come all way to Hong Kong to Yung Kee to eat that but they say they no have it after we pre-order day before!?!  The manager no say sorry just keep saying no have in kitchen.  I was happy because I no need to eat goose feet web.  I am foody woman now but think of how they take bones out... People say all chicken feet and goose feet, old women sit around and put in mouth to get bones out.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend so upset he go downstairs to outside the restaurant to check if they have goose feet on display.  They think some VIP upstairs took our order

To finish lunch, we order noodle with goose fat.   So small and only little goose fat on bottom.  I think it is good but noodle with lard and shrimp roe in Yuen Long is bigger. 

Because no goose feet web, another manager give us egg tart and black sesame dough ball.  The pie crust is no like Tai Cheong egg tart or Kam Fung egg tart.  More like Tai Cheong maybe. I want stay size 2 and no eat egg tart long time but I like flaky Kam Fung one.  This is mini egg tart version so I had 1/3 of the tart.  Size 2 very important or I look fat in Central.

The black sesame dough ball ok.  Not too sweet.  I was so full but I like black sesame. Good for skin and hair, you know?  I check time and it 2:30pm. I can eat carb no problem. 

Lunch ok good.  Think they should have stool and make sure they have reception who know how to take order properly. I no want see Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and Taiwan Foody Cousin get upset again.  

Hong Kong scone bester than London scone

Everyone talk Tai Ping Shan Street is happening place. I no know what is happening there and I famous foody writer now, I should go see.  There a place Teakha, HK foody writer say scone very good.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say scone is popular England and Australia food.  English speaking people like it, it must be grand.  I told all my girlfriend about scone I know.  Tall but no tall like cupcake, with baking soda, eat with cream because I know from London holiday with Sweet Sweet Boyfriend!  I so happy because I can talk like those Foody women friends of Sweet Sweet Boyfriend.

Too much people inside shop when we get to Teakha.  We order food and sit outside shop.   They no have stool for handbags but I no say anything.  I should look like all other girls there, relax and chill (no wonder they can wear layers when it sunny and hot outside).

Girl finally take scone to us and I said "Oh! Wrong order.  I want scone" and she said "This is scone!" How come they no look like the one Sweet Sweet Boyfriend had with me before?  We in London when we ate and no same shape, texture or taste?  No cream or jam with scone?  Everyone there look either chic and hip or Bohemian.  I scold Sweet Sweet Boyfriend for take me to no good place in London to eat scone.  Best scone should be like Teakha's.  Like soft fruit cookie!!  Cannot believe he make me embarrass die me.  I told girlfriends I know scone....  Argghh!  

It very hot and I had Thai Iced Tea. Not same as one I had at Greyhound Cafe.  I no finish it because I still mad die me at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend.

I left Teakha no happy person.  Famous foody writer say their scone best in HK but no like what i say to girlfriends.  I no going back, so embarrass die me

Bubblies Bubblies at 8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Bombana - Can it be grander?

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say Dumbo is a great virtue when I get invitation to Krug dinner at 8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Bombana. I say I have invitation, I must be famous foody writer.  That is so grand. Why he want me to be Dumbo?  I have seen pictures of Dumbo before, Dumbo no wear nice high heels.  He must be jealous die him! 

Anyway, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend told me wines with lots of bubbles made in Champagne are known as Champagne. Bubble wines made outside of Champagne are no Champagne.  However, bubble wines can be made of different grapes but still be known as Champagne.  I no understand this complicate matter.  When Champagne a place and when a wine?  Anyway, I wear Paule Ka dress to say I am very France chic,  Bottega Veneta suede peep toes high heels to show my respect to the Italy restaurant.  I was all happy until Champagne man from Krug say "Mr Krug is actually German..." Oh no oh no! Sweet Sweet Boyfriend no say there is Germany theme.  Phew! Lucky I was wearing Glashutte Original

8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Bombana latest three Michilin star restaurant in Hong Kong, in Central, and first three star Italy restaurant outside Italy. I walk through the bar (with booth! So chic) and to the private room where dinner is. All very grand but wait! No stool for handbags?  I keep say having stool very important for ladies. We no like leaving our bag on floor. 

Before we get food, we get champagne. 

Very nice France man explain each champagne and history of the House of Krug (did he say Monks sell wool to make money?  Hmm… I wonder if they selll me good wool for travel blanket!).  Everyone sniff and taste champagne. I hear people say spices, fleur de del (why Foody people like use France word?  No understand them!), apricot, truffle..etc when they talk wine but I am special and I no write like everyone else. So I say:

Krug Clos du Mesnil 98 - It is strong personality but no aggressive behaviour like crude people. You smell and you know it is Clos du Mesnil.  Very pure, very direct but not pushy.  Easy for everyone and people know champagne appreciate the subtle complexity

Krug Vintage 98 - It is more sharp than the Clos du Mesnil 98.  Maybe more playful than the Clos du Mesnil 

Krug Grande Cuvee - Fruit smell and taste very refreshing. Work perfectly for summer night

Krug Rose - Beautiful colour, perfect for grand girl.  Easy to drink.  It should work really well when we have pink theme birthday parties!

Warm lobster salad with ligurian artichoke and cinta senese ham -  The lobster and the ham fat so... fat but every foody talk about eating fat at dinner.  They think spam is good.  I think BBC say brown fat is good for you and burn more fat. It's BBC, you have to listen or you no grand.  But how I stay size 2 if I eat fat (but I really like this ham fat)?  Anyway, I like drinking the Grande Cuvee and the Clos du Mesnil with the lobster and ham.   The Artichoke?  So happy they no give whole head like other restaurant.  Artichoke so tender and no yucky leaves.  Some people no know how to eat it artichoke! Taste no easy to match any wine but I think the Vintage was good to drink

Roast duck foie gras with piedmont hazelnut sauce -  I have fat die me problem.  Name a girl who no like Nutella!  The hazelnut sauce is so Nutella and taste good with duck foie gras.  Wait!  Duck foie gras?  Isn't foie gras goose or is it duck? Oh duck duck goose. I am Foody woman writer now and should eat it.  It taste nice with the Vintage. The sharp fruit cuts the fat. Hopefully, I stay size 2, no?

Homemade fettucini with black truffles butter and Parmesan - No carb after 3pm but.... black truffle is so grand.  They shave many slice truffle on it.  It smell nice and no funny taste in mouth.  Sweet Sweet boyfriend say people use pigs to find truffle.  How can that be true?  That is no grand but he show me picture.  I think that is photoshop.  Can't they farm truffle now?  Anyway, the fettucini is fresh make and very soft.  The truffle butter and parmesan make it very tasty.  The Grande Cuvee go so well with it.  You have nice taste in mouth but no grease gelling the mouth. 

Spiced roast challans duck supreme with apple and eggplant compote -  They say this is France duck.  What difference between France duck and China duck?  They go walk around and eat anything. Because they are France, they are grand.  The duck very pink and soft. I usually no eat raw food unless it is Japan but this is France!  It must be good at three star michilin restaurant.  The duck eat well with the Clos du Mesnil and Grande Cuvee but the asparagus eat better with the Vintage.  Why one dish with different champagne?  This is very interesting and I must ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend why.

Crispy pear tart - Many layer pastry so tasty.  Good browning on puff on top like Sweet Sweet Boyfriend will say but how come the pear thin and no red colour?  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend make one poached in wine but this one no. I think not to mask the champagne.  I know it no good for size 2 but I want fresh brandy cream.  It is ok, I ask my personal trainer to use 3 lbs instead of 2 lbs dumbbell tomorrow.

Dinner very good, champagne is very tasty and food and champagne complimentary each other (yes, new word Sweet Sweet Boyfriend teach me.  Wait, is it complimentary or compliment?) . Everyone drink a lot and talk a lot and a fun evening.  Champagne not just for popping but for drinking when you want to drink and drink with food when you want to taste food better!  If they have stools for handbags at 8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Bombana, it will be perfect night