Australian Cafe - Cafe Loisl

We go Sheung Wan this afternoon because Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said it happening place.  I say what is wrong?  What is happening?  He didn't say anything.  I usually no go Sheung Wan because street smell strong dried seafood, not grand.  However, I remember reading Drink Eat Men Women and they talk about new places in Sheung Wan. I am now Foody Writer, I should go investigate.  Yes, investigate!  Such a grand new word!

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend took me to this place call Cafe Loisl.  I say I no know Australia is now part of Europe.  They make such European coffee shop.  Will they sell Kangaloo and Kaoala Bear toys too?  Why they have chocolate ball wrap in golden aluminium foil with a guy with funny grey fake hair?  I no see that last time I go Sidney.  Maybe some new fashion to wear fake hair like Lady Gaga.

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend has flat white.  Very rich and very smooth.  But I like Starbucks better.  They so chic using paper cup.  Very modern lifestyle.  Why they use IKEA glass here? If they are Europe Australia cafe, they use china cup with small dish.  No gold rim, no good and grand enough.

It very hot outside and I had Vienna Iced coffee.  Very fat die me with cream but today so hot and it so good.  No eat apple shoedle or Sacha cake.  I want try Sacha cake, I think it is named after the famous guy who played The Dictator.  What his name again?  Sacha Baron Cohen? I went see movie with Sweet Sweet Boyfriend.  Very funny but I need read subtitle too quickly.  Very grand from England but I no want fat die me and no eat cake.

I like this Australia cafe. Very Europe, very chic.  They have enough chair for my hand bag. They are also very advance.  They have WiFi in shop.  I use 3G on my Android but I see other people using computer there.  Very good place.

Oh! They have jewelry shop next door (perfect for me) and tables outdoor. I no like sit outside because I no want freckle on my face but some people like and they happy outside.  Work good for me. I get air-con and they don't.  Wait, is it Austria or Australia? Which one is which?

Island, Kowloon, but not New Territories? Chiu Tang

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend in mood for Chiu Chow food.  Hmm... It tough fashion decision.  Chiu Chow places usually no grand and Dai Pai Dong but all movie stars and singers go and park their Ferrari and Lamborghini outside.  I no wear most chic trendy with taste, I look strong country woman.  So I said no head to toe same brand.  All France they think I wear fake Hermes.  No good no good. Who know A goods are made in France not Shenzhen now!?  Anyway, I wear Helmut Lang.  Strong country people think Lang is Chinese last name so I won't wear same dress as they do.  I no understand why name is Helmut though.  That's what you wear when you ride motorcycle, no?

Anyway, no need worry because Sweet Sweet Boyfriend want go Chiu Tang in Cosmo Hotel in Happy Valley.  Place has lots of private rooms and inside hotel. So grand, very private. You lock door from inside and there funny mirror in room so you know if food coming.  I like it lots until I smell cigarette.  No good for my skin and hair.  Manager say it's some strong country people from the hotel. They no know rules and smoke in lift but smell from restaurant room... I more upset when I say NO STOOL!  Island and Kowloon Tang ok and what happen to Chiu Tang?  Maybe they should call it New Territories Tang so that I get stool.

First dish was foie gras in wine with tofu.  So grand, thick cut.  They know I eat and so not too much wine.  The tofu texture ok and no strong taste.  Foie gras very grand.  If it is goose liver, I no eat. I no eat organ meat!

Assorted marinated meat.  All taste same same as tofu.

No know which one shrimp ball which one crab ball.  All taste same same

Pu Ning Tofu (deep fried).  I say to Sweet Sweet Boyfriend, "Why deep fried food again?  You want me to fat died me!?  Deep fried has breadcrumb on top mah!  I say no carb after 3pm"  Everyone look at me and no say a word.  I know I right.  Panko give smooth skin... err... am I right?

Fried ho fun noodle with beef. The restaurant know what I like.  The noodle very smooth and white.  No char at all.  Foody people don't know better.  Too much char no good for health. Fat Foody Woman said no good and she go kitchen to show how to fry ho fun noodle with char.  I say "You mad cow disease now?  Restaurant do good job to keep noodle white and smooth"

Last noodle? Why carb again?  They say this is two face yellow.  I look at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend. Is he making fun of me, calling me Yellow Face Old Woman?  Does he want new girlfriend because I wore Helmut Lang but not Ann Demeulemeester today?  Luckily, I think he joke only because one side of noodle not yellow.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend so funny!  It was so sweet, I no eat noodle that night and felt full already.

Very private dinner. If you no want people know, you come here.