I am food blogger!!

I no stay Hong Kong too much and there so many food bloggers writing to tell you what food is grand.  I so feel happy because they make me feel empowered, or is it end-powered?

I had lunch with cat woman foody and she show me blog by someone who no get good service. That blogger so loud say "I am food blogger!" And get box of France round cookie.  No fat pastry cook Pierre Herme (oh oh oh! Two very grand brand Pierre Cardin and Hermes must be sponsor him. No wonder his recycle shopping bag sell so expensive, almost like my lambskin Repetto shopping bag) round cookie but restaurant made round cookie so the food blogger no write bad words.   Tsk tsk tsk, food blogger still write bad lor.

So now I am back in Hong Kong, I ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend to make me crystal encrusted case for my new Galaxy.  Back say "I Am Food Blooger!"  I am very grand lady and I no shout like other people. Grand crystal case, everyone can see.

Restaurants people if you read this, I tell you what to do for me so I no write bad thing about you.  After all, I am big time food blogger. You need to please me!

- you always have stool for me.  I finally learnt what stool mean in some other country. I mean one with four legs. You know what I am saying?   Top no use unfinished wood.  You think "raw", I say it no salad vegetables and I no need raw.  Just don't scratch bottom of me bag. They very nice designer limit edition.  You people no afford, ok?   Leather or silk covered cushion ok.

- 4 ply toilet paper.  I no understand why people use rough toilet paper.  I use nice hand cream, you know?

- Diptyque product in toilet when I go.  No like smelling other perfume

- if you last order at 2pm but I show up 2:15pm because I no find matching shoes for me bag, you let me order.  I am food blogger or I write you no give service!

-  I no eat bacon in my bacon egg sandwich. Egg is egg white only because I want size 2.  You no tell me that is not bacon egg sandwich.  Customer is always right!

-  have your PR ready and they better know food and fashion good like I do.  I no like talk to people no dress good

- if food no serve the way I want, you bring back to kitchen and give me new food, free of charge

- of course you invite me to your restaurant and you give me goody bag to bring home. If too big, you arrange for delivery. No grand girl carry bag or basket in shopping mall.


I am still jetlag and cannot think too much.  You no need worry, I will post more when I start eating again.

Watch our, I AM FOOD BLOGGER!!

Chairman only? No President!?

This is big election year, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say.  America has new president, his name is Obama (same as last one) and China has election too.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say traffic in Beijing last week very bad because very important people all go vote for new China president.  See, why people say we no have democracy?  Americas have electoral college, we also have People's Congress.  They still in school and we already have representative for people. Anyway, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend almost no making back to HK in time for dinner with his foody men and women friends at Chairman.

Much table full at the restaurant when we go. We have 9 people but sit at small table.  Of course, they no have stool for my handbag and I very upset.  If they call shop Chairman, they should be grand and have stools.  Maybe they call shop President (like the France Butter, so grand), they will have stool for grand girls like me.

Anyways, first cold dish arrive.  Tomato with something crunchy fruit.  They say it Jicama.  I say it look like fruit , more crunchier than apple, more harder than pear, more sweeter than turnip.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say it root, no fruit.  Root that white?  No way!!  They use the leaf for Thai food cooking in the tomato and something very lemon, mint smell.  I no remember where I smell it before. Ah! My lemon shampoo from that France shop in IFC.  I like the Jicama fruit better than tomato.

Next dish they say rock lobster in shrimp roe and shrimp oil.  Shrimp and lobster, I remember that shrimp with lobster sauce dish I eat in Chinatown in America. Shrimp roe?  I say it look pale, no like shrimp roe noodle at noodle place, very brown.  Rock Lobster so grand.  I not eaten it before but Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say this Pissing Prawn and we eat before, deep fried with salt and pepper. I say you don't be no grand.  Lobster is much more grander than prawn than swim around to piss (I know this one!).

Next dish very fat die me.  Some very char meat on the deep fried "maan tau" cut in half.  It look like gold coin chicken but no use two small white pancake.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say eat eat ok.  It's chicken foie gras and collagen jelly.  Famous foody man say foie gras no mean goose foie gras.  Foie gras mean duck foie gras, not goose or duck.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say this one chicken foie gras.  So if I want speak France to be grand, I should call it foie gras de poulet!   Sweet Sweet Boyfriend pay for France speak lesson and I went to half of them!

Very rich food.  I no know to eat one bite or many small bite.  One bite no dropping any sauce on my Stella McCartney shirt (Writer Foody Woman say she has stain remover pen in her handbag and her Car Crazy husband say good for emergencies with a smile.  I say you English man no know how use chopstick. I know how use chopstick and no emergency).  Small bite I look lady like.  In the end, I put one bite because this Arrogant Prick men sitting next to me want eat my collagen jelly.

Next dish look very dry char siu and no honey on.  I say why char siu no soft and have no honey on?  I ask if it Spain pig because everyone talk Spain pig very grandest bestest pork but the restaurant say no this local pig and they smoke it themselves.  I say smoke char siu?  I no hear it before. This pork taste not bad. It look dry but no very dry and easy to eat.

Pork pork again.  This time stomach.  Why they use ungrand cut meat to make soup?  They say this one with pepper.  I say how come so white.  Soup very sweet but no too spicy and I no sneeze. After drinking, I see ginko nut in bowl but no pepper powder left.  I felt very warm after this soup.

I was full and worry about size 2 when the one fish two styles come out.  One is stir fry with peas.  One is steam with old mandarin orange peel.  I know it fine to eat because I only eat skin which is thick and chewy like gummy candies.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say eating good collagen better than Creme de la Mer.  I no want eat meat but Chef Foody Man say this is garoupa.   Oh! That very grand and I ate it.  Meat very different from skin.  Meat thicker and firmer but no fishy smell.  They cut ginger into small diamond shape like marzipan.  Nice to eat fish gummy bear with spicy marzipan!

I say "What!?  More food come out!" There big crab on yellow sauce.  Smell like China wine.  The wine more soupy this time. There brown stuff in the crab.  Arrogant Foody Man say this tomalley.  I say Tomalley?  Crab eat vegetables too?  Why they have something tomato-ly inside?  He roll eyes and made "shhhuuut" sound when he eat crab tomalley.  He eat only crab and no eat noodle. I think maybe he on diet too.  See, I am influential, people not eat much carb after 3pm.  I keep HK people from turning very fat.

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say try the noodle.  I had one bite, one lick.  Very strong China wine but the crab or noodle no hold sauce like last time we come here 2 months ago.

Is it Thanksgiving dinner but we eat China food and so no turkey?  We have no bone chicken with shrimp paste. pan fried and dip in fish sauce that is like one for Pho andVietnam spring roll.  I say why eat skin?  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say "just like Peking duck, you want to eat skin!" Oh!  If that the case.  Why no two skins, will be bestest.

Spare ribs in plum sauce.  I like Sweet and Sour pork because I live in America and that I eat in Chinatown.  This one no as orange but brown.  Nice sauce but skin no crispy like deep fried sweet and sour pork.  The inside of spare ribs came off easy but there is something taste I no know.  No seasoning and strong pork taste.

Finally vegetables.  This one with ginger juice. Why they no fry to soft?  All these foody people say very crunchy very good.   So I nod and say "yes, very good undercook!"  No one say a word...

Fried rice with shrimp, dry shrimp and shrimp paste.  I say I no eat now, too full but it smell good. No as greasy as other place.

Dessert, they make very China ice-cream. I no know China have ice cream.  But Italy has gelato, I think China can have ice cream too.

I really can no eat anymore but they put almond cream in front of me in cute small cup.  It very good for skin.....

They drink lots grand champagne and wine. The one I like best has gold foil in it.  So grand.  Even the name say "Gold".  Japan people eat gold and say good for skin.  I think they are right. I think my skin glow next morning. 

Car Crazy husband of Writer Foody Woman find us stools for handbag.  I say thank you but I now madder at restaurant.  They have stool but they no give us.  What they thinking?  All restaurants, you need good food and good service.  Good service include buy stools and use them when you have grand girl customer.  If no enough stool?  Don't worry, no give stool to those without nice bag. 

Rebranding as it's best - St Betty

I go shopping in IFC when I wait Sweet Sweet Boyfriend to come back from airport.  He go business trip all time but I no go with him because place he goes no very nice.  He no go New York, Paris, London, or Milan these days.  He go something something "stan" and I say, "No fashion show? It ok, you go and come back."

I see lots of people walking but no too many people buying on 2nd floor of IFC.  I may need stop shopping there because I think every rich person go to France or Italy to buy now.  If I still buy in HK, that make me no grand. 

I was hungry and remember there is Betty's Kitschen next to the Giuseppe Zanotti shop.  I went and see everything same same but wait, where is Betty's Kitschen?  There no more Betty's Kitschen but a place call St Betty.  I know St John in London and I hear about St George in HK but I no know their cousin St Betty is now in HK.  

It 1pm and they have table for me.  The place very bright and sunny.   I think I say direct sunlight no good for women and they no listen to me.  I so mad and immediately put on SPF 100 and my big sunglasses.  I get freckles, I angry die them. 

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend got me the new Samsung Galaxy Note II LTE and so I immediately use it to google for St Betty.  Hmm... It's by someone call Shane Osborn who work at Pied a Terre, some famous Michilin star restaurant.  There are many foodie people say it very good at St Betty.  So, St Betty no cousin of St John or St George but this is so grand and I think my food will be bestest of the week and I can show Sweet Sweet Boyfriend that I can find good restaurant without his help...  Only to find I so wrong and should stick with Sweet Sweet Boyfriernd's recommendation. 

I sit down for 10 minutes but no one come take my order and they no stool for my handbag.  I put my handbag and my shopping in the chair but I no happy.  What if they drop anything on my bag?  I wait longer and they put down some baguette on my table.  They look very cute (almost like Hello Kitty cute) with tiny tiny tip but the bread crust has a crack.  I eat a little of bread.  Crispy crust but no much taste.  So, just ate the tip and no more eating bread. Even though it before 3pm.  I should not eat too much carb, especially I order the  pasta with trifle mushroom.

The menu say sauteed spatzle, wild mushroom, fresh black truffle, taleggio cheese.  I no know why they always get it wrong.  Truffle is dessert, trifle is the smelly mushroom, right?  Anyway, I order it (but I will ask my PT to increase my weight training from 1 lb to 2 lbs tomorrow and increase it by 2 minutes) because Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say trifle very good in trifle season toward end of year.  I no understand the smell of trifle but if Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and his foodie friend eats black trifle in winter, I eat too.  The pasta ok taste but I think Sweet Sweet Boyfriend one at home taste stronger.  He use Chanterelles and morel to make me pasta and I think just as good if no better.  Maybe Sweet Sweet Boyfriend is Michilin star chef too.

The food no bad but no better than Sweet Sweet Boyfriend cooking.  Service was definitely no good. I waited for 30 minutes, asked 2 times to get my food.  They no too busy but they didn't get my food.  I upset because it got close to 3pm and I cannot eat carb then.

Maybe I no go back till I go with Sweet Sweet Boyfriend....

Butcher are colour coded

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say good meat can be dry aged before eating.  I say what you mean by dry aged?  You leave it outside till it turn bad?  He say no no, it is in a big refrigerator to make the beef taste better and softer.  I say you eat mold if you want. I no eat mold because that's no grand.  Why anyone eat food with mold on?  Funk?  What funk they talk about? I know punk.  That Japan style street fashion in Harajuku. I no like that style but I know.

Anyway, we went to Blue Butcher. I don't know why they colour code butcher shops.  Blue?  Does it mean all meat there are served rare?  Is there Green Butcher for old meat, Grey Butcher for meat no cook well?

This place is next to Press Room.  So, meat shop next to cheese shop.  When one food has mold, you attract other food with mold.  I walk in butcher shop and no see meat hanging around but there a bar with lots of alcohol.  We went upstairs and Sweet Sweet Boyfriend took me to see the big refrigerator.  Ah!  That is where meat is.  They use glass and so no good for fur storage.  No wonder only meat in there.  Direct sunlight is no good for fashion items and my skin, you know?  The one thing I no understand is sunlight give me freckles and spots but make colour of my clothes light.  Why no the other way round?

The bread come in paper bag.  Not even plate or basket?  Did they recycle paper bag from butcher shop?  These days, every one talk recycle, be green (see!  Why everyone colour code!?!). So I worry they use recycle paper bag.  The bread all cut and I no see the cuts on the crust of bread.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say if we eat baguette, we check for nipples and ears. I say you so naughty!  Nipples on bread!  Anyway, the bread no warm and crust no crispy.  The butter no taste like what Sweet Sweet Boyfriend use at home. It's after 3pm anyway, I no eat carb because I want stay size 2.

Salt bush lamb rack.  I usually no like lamb because strong smell.   People either love or no love lamb because of smell.  I ate this one.  No smell.  Actually, no enough salty.

Wagyu bone-in rib eye.  They say this one dry-aged.   Soft la, black crust outside and very red inside.  Not much beef taste.  They say Wagyu.  That so grand but I ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend if I need cut the black crust away.  So char, will I be ok?  This no pizza, why I want so much char on it?  He say ok to eat and good execution so I ate.  It is expensive grand food and it must taste good.

And then we ate pork belly.  Very soft texture but I worry so much fat.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say that collagen, not fat.  Better than drinking Creme de La Mer.

On the side, we order macaroni-n-cheese and mash potato.   I say how come mac-n-cheese no orange colour?   The one come in box is orange when cooked.  This one too white.  Look more like broccoli au gratin.  There is something in it, I think salt pork.

The potato no as smooth as one at Robuchon.  I smelt it but no eating because potato make me fat.  I rolled eyes at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend. How dare him order carb after 3pm and I no can eat!?

We had dinner but I no remember what I eat because I don't remember any strong taste.  All I remember was meat no too chewy or tough.  Very easy to chew.

When I look at bill for our food, I say why so expensive and they no give me stool for my handbag.  They are very lucky because I went yoga and used a Repetto bag. If I use my Jimmy Choo,  I will scold die them.   Sweet Sweet Boyfriend so good to me to always find me collagen food (much grander than those collagen hotpot in Causeway Bay) but he need find restaurant with stool.  When will he learn to be grand!?

Peru food in HK. How come no hummus?

I meet up with girlfriends for lunch.  We no want eat France Food because every one say new food in HK is Spain food but I no like Spain food because my maid say she speaks Spain.  Yet, we are hip and chic and we need go try new thing. 

Girlfriend married to partner of law firm say, "Let's go to Chicha!'  I say what?  Some thing sticky tea?  She said "No no, it's Peru food"  Oh!  Peru, I know, Middle-East. They eat hummus, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend made that for me to eat before.  No, we don't eat the cheap one from outside LKF on Friday night, we eat homemade good hummus.  Girlfriend married to banker say, "We no talk about Beirut!  We talk about Peru!!"

Huh!  Beirut no same as Peru?  I thought just England and France spelling and saying.  Where is Peru? What they eat?  Aiyee,  so ugly die me. Lucky Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say no use iPhone5 because no Google Map and he make me use Samsung instead.  I found Peru is below USA. If it's iPhone 5, it probably say Peru is between India and China. Now I know, it's American food in the South. Must be similar to food I eat in Los Angeles with Sweet Sweet Boyfriend when he took me to La Jolla to drive Ferrari California up to San Francisco.

First thing very familiar.  It taco with pork, squid, fish, and prawn.  Other place taco put on plate. This place put on a big piece of iron.  So heavy, no one can steal dishes away.  They very lucky because taco shell hard enough or I can not take taco out.  Quite nice and bigger than another taco place in LKF. I like spicy sauce too.  Fish taco and squid taco very yumzos (why every one say yumzos?  What word is it anyway? If all hip people say it, I say it too.  Cannot be last one to use word)

We also order Lechon el Horno.   Wah! All types of pork (suckling pig) there.  So fat die me.  Pork belly quite tasty but skin very difficult to cut.  The fried ball taste good and sauce ok too.

See how fat the pig is?  Suckling pig already this fat, adult pig very fat, no?  I wonder why Peru raise pig this way.

We girl lunch of course we need eat dessert.  All foody girl bloggers in HK love dessert.  I worry no more size 2 but I need eat dessert too or next time I see them, I no have anything to say.  So, we picked Picarones (fried sweet potato donut with orange spiced syrup) and Canutos Crocantes  (Lucuma custard filled sugar snap, coconut ice cream and chicha morada).  I worry donut too fat but it ok soft and not very sweet.  The custard one was very sweet and Coconut ice cream not very creamy

So we ate everything and we talk about Peru.  Girlfriends say their husband take them on holiday and it easy to go place if you speak Spain.  I woke up from all these boring one upmanship speak and say "Spain!  You tell me people there speak Spain!?  My maid speaks Spain to and that's why I no go Spain food restaurant because it no grand!"  Arrghh!  I must check carefully of where to go and who to go with next time...

Guest Posting - From my little cousin Soawesome

It runs in the family or our family very runny?  I no know but my little cousin Soawesome want write too.  She is very good foody writer too and go grand place all time....

========

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend Junior say bring me to all-you-can-eat dim sum in Tsim Sha Tsui 凱悅軒. I say no first. All girlies study in USA say all-you-can-eat is dirty and cheap. Why SSB Jr bring me to cheap place? We not in USA. If in USA, I want Angus beef steak. But we arrive all-you-can-eat in hotel! I immediately happy. Maybe I meet movie star. Anyway, very grand restaurant with tall windows and even outdoor seats. I like window seat now because foodie women say sunlight make Vitamin D on skin. Still I don't understand why no take candy Vitamin pills. So colorful and cheerful. Like the many colours iPod Nano. SSB Jr need to buy this Mid-Autumn present and load all the cool songs from US Top 40.

SSB Jr read carefully and told me there was char siu on both all-you-can-eat and a la cart menu. What cart? We not in Marketplace or Three Sixty, no Filipino maids will push carts around. Well, SSB Jr say it's better value to order char siu from all-you-can-eat, plus there is other dim sum too. Char siu come and I see little fat. SSB Jr disappointed but I relieved. Easier to stay size 2 this way so I can eat 3 pieces. Still half a bowl left because restaurant give portions according to number of heads.

I can't believe either when Chinese restaurant tell me they have soup of the day at lunch hour. I think just like other place and not grand. Then they mention 'old fire' and 牛蒡. I don't want to try but SSB Jr order a big bowl anyways and we share. Soup was okay and SSB Jr liked it. Say really took long time to boil.

Other dim sums are the usual ones you see, at most just matching Fu Sing quality I think. SSB Jr become thoughtful today and order many vegetables. Maybe he win money in stock market. Nice veggies you can make at home too, but I think good after deep fried dim sums. Don't want pimples, you know?!! I can taste freshness in veggies, I guess they import from wet market. No like wet markets, very dirty and sweaty everywhere.

SSB Jr say not quite enough so order fried rice and noodles. Sigh... carbs for him and he never do exercise. Maybe I kick him to kick-boxing.

Finally, we order some desserts, dried beancurd and ginkgo nuts sweet soup and sesame jelly cake. Both I like very much. Sweet soup not too sweet and beancurd all melt in the soup. I like jelly cake too because aromatic. And then SSB laugh at me because my white white teeth become black. Ai ya! I poured tea from the metal tea pot to rinse 'discreetly', just like a lady. 

This restaurant good service. I have a big round stool to put my bag! Also I see no waitresses, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend will not look at other women and make me jealous.

France bakery that also sell fish in Kennedy Town

So many new bread and cake shop in HK (Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said it's Pastry.  I say it no Italy noodle?) and I so excited to eat them.  Many foody man and woman write bread and cake. One famous one say he gives points to see which bread edible.  I no know you can edit bread but maybe you can. 

Anyway, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend drive me in his Jaguar E-Type around one Sunday morning.  I say why old car?  So no grand.  All my girlfriends want big loud Ferrari but Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say this year 50th anniversary of the E-Type and we drive pass China dried seafood place.  No good to drive convertible in that area.  You smell everything. 

We park car outside Boulangerie Bistronomique.  I say why always France name? I know it grand but I no know how to say it.  No one in Hong Kong know how to say it so you never can meet people at right place for coffee. 

First thing Sweet Sweet Boyfriend gave me was canele.  I say "Wah! So burnt outside.  This no pizza, why all the char!?" He say this is Bordeaux specialty. Why he lie to me?  Bordeaux is for wine only and this one made with rum.  I read about rum I say this is Jamaican and he rolled his eyes!  Huh!  Roll eyes?  I throw my Alexander Wang weekend bag at him.

The inside very soft and nice but outside still have crust.  This bigger than what Writer Foody Woman and Lawyer Foody Woman make.  This one has more soft moist inside but I like small one because more crust and less fat die me.  Lots of sugar, I heard.

 

We also have mille feuille.  This one has sweet white crust on top.  I like it but I no like it.   The taste good but no as light as the one at Macau Robuchon.  I see all Hong Kong girls around me like it a lot.

I say if I eat carb, I eat a lot and it is before 3pm. So, I order more and have one opera and one lemon tart.  Many place has opera (and even pistachio opera) but this one has layers measured by ruler.  So pretty.  The lemon tart different from one from Four Seasons that Sweet Sweet Boyfriend special ordered for me when I had to work extra time till 7pm one Thursday.  10 hours work!  They want tire die me!! Anyway, the lemon tart not as sour here and very light.  They put egg white on top but this meringue no hard, very pretty.  Sweet Sweet boyfriend say there different type meringue. The chef at this bread and cake shop is France person, this must be France meringue.  Isn't it how it is classified?  If I make it, it will be Hong Kong meringue...

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say he hungry and order a sandwich.   Sigh! France word France name again. Tête de cochon.  I say what that is, Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say that very god collagen, no need to worry.  Hmm..  Very good texture in mouth and mustard just right... but wait, why it look so much like marinated Chinese pig skin you buy from char siu place?

I saw raspberry tart and I have to eat it. Sweet Sweet Boyfriend saw pear tart and he wanted it.  I say why pear tart baked but raspberry tart no bake?  What happen if you bake berries?  Do they explode?  

Both tarts quite nice and no funny old butter taste. The filling the same.  People so funny, sometimes they bake, sometimes they don't.

The bread shop very grand because they sell France jam by this Christine Ferber. Sweet Sweet Boyfriend and his Foody friend love the jam.  Say it complex and good combination.  I say I like strawberry best (which girl no like strawberry!?) but it is France jam so I say I like too.  They also have other tinned fish.  This no ordinary bread and cake shop.  This is France supermarket shop!