Grandest of Grand - agnès b. le pain grillé

Foody woman talk about Inaki Aizpitarte and everyone so excited.  I no know who this man is but I got excited when they say "...but dinner will be at agnès b".  They no understand, agnès b so chic (new word!) It is a place you get france clothes and food (and beautiful cake so grand!).  The teddy bear that come with cake and flower so so so so cute.   What I didn't know was I was in for much surprises...

We went to Cubus and many people there.  Some not so grand wearing clothes I no hear of.  Some may say "Just because you wear Louboutin doesn't mean you have style."  I say it should be "Just because you wear Louboutin doesn't mean you have style... Unless you carry the "Wintage" Chanel bag too."  How can anyone so lazy of not wearing everything right??  It's so close to Causeway Bay shopping anyway.  Not top top brand like Central ones but it is no difficult to buy new clothes/bags/shoes to wear if you have problem, is it??

I want menu but they say dinner is set dinner only.  Why people want set?  That is so not grand. I cannot order most expensive items to impress people. 

We sat from 7:30pm and no food for one hour.  Foody Woman Lawyer said she so hungry and want eat table.  Lawyer Man said no you no eat table because the restaurant wrap steel around table. I said, "You people so no chic!  Have you seen the Lubutin Steel Toe Shoes?  Also wrapped with steel.  That's style!" They look into space behind me.  Sigh! These people not teachable.  Aren't they lawyer in Central very grand like those in TVB drama!? 

Gourgères - cheese puffs

We wait long time and they gave us cheese ball finally .  They cute but is this one course?   They so fluffy and one bite, poof! gone.  Waiter say "Please eat when it's hot"  I blame it on Foody Woman Lawyer and Runner Foody for taking pictures with big camera.  They say they take picture quick and no more than one minute but when I ate puff it was cold.  Their one minute must be ten minutes for food!

Cevice - marinated fish.  How much cuter can it be.  They use raspberry instead of strawberry for bottom like...err... McVities digestive biscuits base for cheese cake.  Only grand grand people can think something so nice, so sweet, and so cute and help me stick with no carb after 3pm rule.  The fish crunchy and taste a little sour.  I say "Why no wasabi if this is hamachi?"  No one say anything.  Do they no understand FUSION!?

Poireaux crayons à l'encre et quinoa noir - pencil leek in ink, black quinoa.  It was black, very black.  The quinoa very chewy.  The leek look like scallion.  Still a little sour.  Interesting texture

Mini baguette.  We wait another 30 minutes no food.  Runner Foody ask for bread.  Took 10 minutes to have bread.  I think Sweet Sweet Boyfriend's homemade baguette more beautiful.  His has pointy tip (just like the heels of my new Jimmy Choos stilettos.) and the slit cut beautiful like a shade. This one look more like a rip....

Jus Ibérique, polenta et pomelos - Iberico jus, poletna & pomelo.  I saw it and said "This is so beautiful peach colour!  Sakura!"  I no know what the sheet is but the dish taste a cross of Jin Hua Ham soup in taste and Thai pomelo salad in texture.  Very interesting.  France people make it so high class.  There some soft mash inside. I said it texture like Robuchon mashed potato and the Foody said "that's Polenta!" I did not know polenta can be so soft.  Banker Foody Woman say "Ours have lots of butter but yours has margarine.  Don't worry, no fat die you."   And this is also known as "the FOURTH dish"  I should ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend what it mean when we get home

Bouillon de canard, foie gras, réglisse et oiive de Kalamata - duck broth, foie gras, liquorice & Kalamata olive (Before broth).  Can people eat foie gras no cook?  I don't know if foie gras cooked but it so grand they put foie gras cube in bowl and pour soup over.   It is like Yunan Rice Vermicelli ("Bridge Crossing Vermicelli") when you use soup cook meat and vegetable?  Taste lots of olive and herb.

 After broth

Gummy filled?   Lawyer Foody Woman showed me her foie gras cube, so cute!  It has filling inside like beef ball at hotpot place.  She said no, it's vein.  No understand what she talks about!  Agnes b so grand. How can it be?  

Food still coming slow and we had wine. They gave everyone more wine but that's all the wine I get. I no drunk people.  Wine all different taste.  I no know because some wine no sweet but the Foody people said wine very interesting with different character.  What character are they talking about?  Why wine have character?  Shouldn't all wine be sweet?  I like sweet wine, you know?

 

Asperge blanche, couteaux, oseille et parmesan - white asparagus, razor clam & parmesan cheese.  I saw it I said, "See!  They have sashimi and wasabi!! I tell you eat raw seafood you always eat with wasabi and mayonnaise and soy sauce."  They have white ice on the food.  How they make cheese into ice?   I should ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend to try it.

Foody Woman started laughing when she look my dish and I ask why?  She said the asparagus look very "epitome for foodporn" No know what she talk about but I think epitome is a very good word.  She properly very jealous me for having bestest dish.  Yes, You jealous die you!

Still sour taste.  I think theme tonight is sour food.  I like so much because it is getting hot. So refreshing!  

Turbot, voile de navets, Manzanilla et noix brûlée - turbot, turnip, Manzanilla & burnt walnut.  Finally some warm food.  The fish is very fat.  I start worry even no carb after 3pm, eat fat fish will fat die me.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say no worry, the omega-3, 4, 5, and 6 will give me beautiful hair and skin.  The nut very burnt.  The turnip not very soft thin and not very crispy.  Very interesting texture

Pigeon en quatre services, chips tamarin, rhubarbe et poire - pigeon four ways, rhubarb, pear & tamarin.  Second hot dish and I no eat all.  The pigeon too raw but the leg was good.  The pear chip and rhubarb sour too.  The black thing on side of dish, I no ask what that is

Baba au rhum - I was waiting for cake but came out a white fungus (Snow ear).  I said why??  Foody people and Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said the chef must be trying out new Asian ingredients.  I say, "Why no wasabi for the raw fish if you try Asian??  Fusion, people, Fusion!"  The dessert ok but I like white fungus with papaya better

Tocino del Cielo -  How can you eat egg yolk for dessert?  And it's not cooked to hard yolk!?  Oh well, I was upset because unless Japanese egg, I no eat onset egg but this one.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend told me just try.  This is ok to eat.  No sick or he gets me new HTC One phone.  OK, with the Beats by Dr Dre Monster and both in white?  That work for beach.

 Glace au lait ribot, herbes, beurre noisette - buttermilk ice cream, herbs & hazelnut butter. It is like frozen yogurt with mint and basil.  I say "Fusion!  This is Japanese frozen yogurt and Thai food!"  Everyone ignored me.

I was a little disappoint and very surprise because there no stool for my handbag and the service not very good.  I say agnès b. should be better because it's france shop very grand.  The staff no know the food.  When food come, we ask what the Jus Ibérique, polenta et pomelos is the fourth dish. I no know what it means and I count the menu. Ah!  Chess puff dish 1, fish 2, leek 3 and pork and polenta 4!!  I am not too stupid after all.

End of night.  Chef came out to say hello.  He's tall and no fat and cute and now all the food very good to me.  He so grand. All Foody people spoke to him.  Runner Foody said the chef wore Nike Lunarspeed Lite. It is Nike x Gyukosau. The sous chef wore Nike Zoom Elite x Gyukosau.  I know my heels but I no know there are so many sports shoes.  Aren't they all the same like the "white rice fish"!?

The evening strange.  I think agnès can do better and make sure you have stool for me next time!

Wrong time right place

I go Gough Street buy new table lamp for Sweet Sweet Boyfriend.  He said buy Ikea one or 3M is good. I say how dare you don't go stylish!?   You no want holding hand? 

I no like Gough Street because walk up through market not grand and street not good for my shoes but now there's agnès b. cafe.  I can go by taxi when Sweet Sweet Boyfriend don't drive me.

Too much people at agnès b. after my shopping at Homeless.  I need go back to office quick and I walk in  Ngau Kee Food Cafe because Open Rice foody people say very good.  Also, I though it say Cafe and should be like agnès b. but no.  I sat down and there no stool for my 3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli satchel.  I no happy. 

I no know what to eat for lunch and order what everyone else have.  Soup is carrot and pork soup and I had char siu fried ho fun noodle.   No enough salty.  How come they no look like picture on Open Rice?  So I check using my new Samsung Nexus phone Sweet Sweet Boyfriend buy me. He said no using iPhone, that's too "ordinary". I no know how to use everything on the phone except camera but that's all a grand girl like me need, right?   I use camera to take pictures of everything I eat, shop.  Video to film people if they mean to me. And of course, front camera as mirror when I put make up on in car

Anyways, Open Rice people eat dinner there and I eat lunch!  Wrong time!  

Saboten - pork cutlet mille feuille

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend want eat offal at new place Osaka Horumon but I say no organ meat!  "They are cheap and no grand. Peasant food!  Everyone in fashion magazine say no eating meat, no wearing animal part. Eat organ no stylish!!!"  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend start lecture me, "To eat everything an animal has to offer is the highest respect you can show for an animal!  Forget about those vegetarian diet being more ethical talk!  Offal is more flavourful and can be cooked in many different ways that makes eating interesting. How else are you getting your collagen? What about eating carb after 3pm?"  I no know what to say when he say foody thing.  I stood on street and no walking.  He no want me cry and we go Saboten instead. I won! 

Saboten is famous Japanese place.  We ate deep fried everything except cabbage salad. Cabbage cut so fine.  We mix sesame sauce and vinegar and quickly, cabbage turn soft.  Still taste good.  

We have black and white sesame and cutlet sauce but I like vinegar better for tonkatsu. Mille Feuille (Why french word again!?  It's Japanese restaurant!) pork very soft and no chewing.  They roll pork up and dip in batter and bread crumb.  Better than spring roll.  I like it much.

The shrimp ok but crab cake not very good.  Not much crab meat.   They give white rice or barley rice.  It's barley but they keep calling it wheat rice. 

At the end, I insist have dessert.  I am so upset at Sweet Sweet Boyfriend's lecture. He no understand what we fashionista think.  I read from magazine,  famous people say no animal cruelty and if I don't say same, I do not look one of them.  I don't know what they mean no eat meat is good though.  If no meat and only vegetable, I have to eat rice or noodle after 3pm and that makes me size 6 instead size 2.  It so difficult to be stylish and grand. 

I took picture of dessert because CNNGO say How to be a Hong Kong local that we need take picture of dessert (#4).  I am international and I am grand.  So, I need take picture and quote CNNGO to say I do what Western people do! 

No stool for handbag.  Service ok but like factory.

When fashion meets food...

... you use two forks to eat

Girlfriend want me help to buy new clothes for S/S 2012.  I said we go Central, you get all very grand name there.  Landmark is much holy place where you get the super grand brand!

So, we eat lunch at Cova in Alexandra House.  It is right above Burberry.  The secret is you see who go Fogal buy beautiful beautiful tights.  I no mean woman. I mean guy buying for girlfriends...

We sit outside by balcony.  No direct sunlight and I no need wear SPF 50 on my face. As usual, I wore sunglasses.  If Anne Wintour wear sunglasses stylish, why I no wear sunglasses? I am international and I am grand!  There no stool for handbag and I put my bag on floor. They very lucky because they have carpet or I jump up and down.

We have set lunch so we have time to shop.  I no remember what food taste like or texture but they give me two forks for starter.  I no remember what Sweet Sweet Boyfriend say: use from outside to inside from both side or right side first and left side later.  I always end up using two forks to eat.  Is that Italy way?  Or fashion way? 

Just like a factory - Ding Tai Fung

So, we had some No Soup Xiao Long Bao last day and Sweet Sweet Boyfriend is no happy.   It so sad to look at him not happy and I say, "Ok ok! Let's go Ding Tai Fung.  You get the Jo Malone Blue Agava and Cacao and I go Causeway Bay with you?  You ok?"   How can people no use perfume?  I finish one bottle Jo Malone in 5 weeks.  People can smell me after I leave lift.  That's style like writers spray perfume on paper! 

We ordered "Kao Fu" (烤麩, the Shanghainese gluten with soya bean, mushroom, bamboo shoot).  I hear famous foody writer say the gluten should be break by hand and not cutting.  Ding Tai Feng is no cutting so must be very good.  Cantonese people say bamboo shoot toxic but I like bamboo shoot and no enough in dish.  I ask Sweet Sweet Boyfriend if ok to eat gluten. Is it carb.  He said no no, ok.  It's protein,  just like eating tofu.  I said ok ok! But will the oil make me size 4 instead 2?  

Sweet Sweet Boyfriend also order "Crystal Pork" for me. He said collagen very good for me.  I should no get collagen and botox needle.  That's not good for me.  Could be A-good not real.  If I eat and it doesn't work, it come out.  It was good taste but I no like texture.  Pork bits and small piece.  No meat chunk.

This time Xiao Long Bao very good. It have soup!  The Xiao Long Bao have thin skin and very wet pork inside.  Good texture

I should not say it but I like spring roll.  So crispy and no oily. Inside no thick glue (Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said that's thickening like starch)

Chong Yao Min (scallion oil noodle).  This one different from Nanxiang.  This one no dried shrimp and scallion black.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said scallion good but no dried shrimp.  He like dried shrimp.  He said the name "Hoi Yeung" (開洋, open ocean, Kai Yang).  Hoi Yeung is for sunny apartment, not for food.  No!?  So first all the french word and now the funny Chinese name?  What they try to do?  Why food so complicated?

Mushroom and vegetable steamed bun.  "Nothing to call home about" Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said.

Spare-rib over fried rice with egg.  The pork thin and I like the one at Delicious Kitchen in Causeway Bay more. Taste not bad and I like it's all cook well.  Sweet Sweet Boyfriend said a little overcook a little dry. I said "You no eat raw pork or you get mad cow disease!"

Wrong order but we also got spare-rib and noodle.

For dessert, we had mashed yam steamed bun. I like it because it low fat. Sweet Sweet Boyfriend did not eat after one bite. He said no oil.  What is wrong with men?  Why they like oil?  No oil is very good.

Much people queue up and they have strange statue at entrance.  A hello kitty type holding Xiao Long Bao.  I think they should hire me to upgrade the image.  They should have stool for handbags (they no have now) and work with Chanel to make limited edition Xiao Long Bao warm bag instead chili sauce and pineapple cake.  Why pineapple cake? They no Sun Dong Yang ( 新東陽, Hsin Tung Yang)!   Also, the place like factory.  You no ask for off menu and everything put in front of you quick.  You go there, queue, sit down and eat, go.  You no stay for small chat